My Testimony

I'm reading a book called "21 Days Closer to Christ" for those of you who didn't read my last blog.
Its a book that has daily readings and challenges to help you establish a relationship with Christ.
Today the end challenge was to write down your testimony of Christ and I wrote it down in my journal.
I'm not the kind of person that is good at getting up in sacrament meeting to bear my testimony so this is the next best thing.
This is kinda hard for me to do.. but I feel really strongly that I just need to share it with someone, even if it is just my blog.
To anyone that is interested.. I want to share my testimony with you.

I know that my Redeemer lives.
That is my favorite hymn because of how powerful it is to say those words out loud.
He is my Redeemer. He is my Savior.
I'm not the best at putting into words how I feel about Christ, probably because no matter how the words fall together, they always fall short.
No combination of words is adequate enough to express how I truly feel about the Savior of the World.
But because I'm writing it down instead of thinking out loud, I'll try to make them do.
I know that Jesus Christ is the most loving and selfless person anyone could have as a big brother or a best friend.
He is a constant source of comfort, peace, understanding, love, support, and happiness for me.
I know He thought about me and recognized my personal pain and suffering as He suffered for me in the Garden of Gethsemane so that I could return to my Heavenly Father someday.
I have been through so much physical, emotional and spiritual pain in my life, just like everyone has, and I know my Savior felt every second of it, and that is amazing to me.
He has been there. He does understand me. Probably better than I do myself..
I haven't had a life full of pain and suffering. There are so many people close to me who have gone through much more and worse. They've had more physical pain, or more emotional suffering, or more spiritual trials.
But I know that the Savior loves them and knows them just as deeply as He knows and loves me.
I know that means so much.
Words will always fail me when I try to express the extent of my gratitude for my blessed brother, Jesus Christ.
He is my very best and closest friend.
I trust Him with my whole heart, body, mind and spirit. He has completely healed all 4 when they were broken and shattered.
I am so grateful for his atoning sacrifice and for the moment He knew He was suffering for my sins and how he is still so unconditionally loving.
It is because of Him that I get to have my happily ever after with my Father in Heaven, my husband, my family and loved ones.
I'm grateful to Him and I admire Him for doing the same thing for every soul on this earth, even the ones He knows will never accept it in this life.. What an incredible amount of selflessness and charity and faith.
Being in the hospital on bed rest has been such a huge blessing in disguise.
It was very last minute, very unexpected, and above all very unnerving and scary for Mike and I.
I tried so hard to not overwork myself during my pregnancy or lift anything too heavy and it was so hard because at first I was mad at myself, assuming this was my fault and now I have to deal with this punishment.
The thought of my little precious son being so early and so fragile and not ready for the world yet, and all of that being my fault, made me fall apart at the seams..
I was shaken and felt so alone and hopeless.
But all I had to do was open my eyes and look around and I saw the pouring out of love and support from so many more people we ever could hope for!
I was so overwhelmed by how many people went out of their way to come to the hospital to visit, call us at the hospital, put our names into 3 different temples, pray in our behalf, bring us beautiful flowers, bring us gifts for Milo and also for our entertainment, and give us words of love and support on facebook.
One night after having visitors all day long, Mike and I were alone and we decided to read this 21 days closer to Christ book together.
As we were reading, we were both completely overwhelmed with a tangible feeling of love and comfort.
It felt like the Savior had wrapped His loving arms around both of us, planting hope, comfort and happiness in our hearts.
We couldn't even finish reading we were both so emotional.
We knew this was happening for a reason and that Milo was in good hands, the Lord's hands.
Sometimes we make plans for things to go our specific way, but even if we have righteous intentions, sometimes our plans aren't the same as the Lord's plan for us.
He has a plan for Milo, and He has a plan for Mike and for me. Obviously we needed a refresher as to what that was.
It was then that I knew that I needed to dedicate this time I have to the Lord and His gospel, for my own sake but also for the sake of my husband and my little one so he can have a spiritually sound mother to teach him right from wrong.
My relationship with the Savior is very personal and close to my heart. I hope everyone will have the extraordinary blessing of gaining closeness with the Savior. He is my Savior, but He is yours too. And He's the truest friend you'll ever have. It's worth humbling yourself enough to let Him into your life.
I say these things in my Savior's name. Amen.