September 11th

On the morning of September 11th, 2001, I was living with my dad and step-mom in Santaquin.
I was in 7th grade, going to Payson Middle School.
I was also going through the worst year of my life.
This day was before the hell-ish year though, more like the beginning.
I was actually still going to public school and so I walked into my first period Health class where my teacher walked into the classroom with tears streaming down his face.
It is a little weird to see a grown man cry, especially in front of the whole class.
He looked right at the TV in the front left corner of the classroom and said,
"There's something you guys need to see."
The first image I saw was of a reporter talking really fast and with tons of anxiety and worry in her voice.
The next thing I saw was the first tower, completely on fire with huge pillows of smoke surrounding the building.
Then I sat and watched the second tower as a plane that seemed to be going as fast as it could go, flew straight for the second tower of the World Trade Center.
I never knew what the WTC was before, why should I? I was 12 years old..
I think a lot of people learned what the World Trade Center was after this..
I distinctly remember learning about the Holocaust in History and it being the most interesting and scary thing I'd ever learned in school. I learned about Anne Frank and how her family hid within the walls of their own home from the Nazis.
I remember thinking "Oh my gosh I feel like a modern day mormon Anne Frank!"
Obviously the attacks on 9/11 had nothing to do with mormons, but the fact that someone could intentionally kill so many people, reminded me of the Holocaust and the Nazis killing people with no feeling or remorse.
A girl has to go through enough emotional confusion at the age of 12, so having such a national tragedy happen definitely is hard to handle maturely.
But I remember coming home from school, doing my housework, and watching the news all night after that..
I wanted to understand what had happened and why.
I didn't understand a lot of things but one thing I did understand was that there were very selfish men that had no value for human life, and there were completely selfless men and women that sacrificed their own lives because they valued others' lives above their own.
I will always have a deep-rooted appreciation and love for local firefighters, policemen, soldiers and volunteers because of my unique experience on September 11th.
May we always remember how we felt on that day!

My Testimony

I'm reading a book called "21 Days Closer to Christ" for those of you who didn't read my last blog.
Its a book that has daily readings and challenges to help you establish a relationship with Christ.
Today the end challenge was to write down your testimony of Christ and I wrote it down in my journal.
I'm not the kind of person that is good at getting up in sacrament meeting to bear my testimony so this is the next best thing.
This is kinda hard for me to do.. but I feel really strongly that I just need to share it with someone, even if it is just my blog.
To anyone that is interested.. I want to share my testimony with you.

I know that my Redeemer lives.
That is my favorite hymn because of how powerful it is to say those words out loud.
He is my Redeemer. He is my Savior.
I'm not the best at putting into words how I feel about Christ, probably because no matter how the words fall together, they always fall short.
No combination of words is adequate enough to express how I truly feel about the Savior of the World.
But because I'm writing it down instead of thinking out loud, I'll try to make them do.
I know that Jesus Christ is the most loving and selfless person anyone could have as a big brother or a best friend.
He is a constant source of comfort, peace, understanding, love, support, and happiness for me.
I know He thought about me and recognized my personal pain and suffering as He suffered for me in the Garden of Gethsemane so that I could return to my Heavenly Father someday.
I have been through so much physical, emotional and spiritual pain in my life, just like everyone has, and I know my Savior felt every second of it, and that is amazing to me.
He has been there. He does understand me. Probably better than I do myself..
I haven't had a life full of pain and suffering. There are so many people close to me who have gone through much more and worse. They've had more physical pain, or more emotional suffering, or more spiritual trials.
But I know that the Savior loves them and knows them just as deeply as He knows and loves me.
I know that means so much.
Words will always fail me when I try to express the extent of my gratitude for my blessed brother, Jesus Christ.
He is my very best and closest friend.
I trust Him with my whole heart, body, mind and spirit. He has completely healed all 4 when they were broken and shattered.
I am so grateful for his atoning sacrifice and for the moment He knew He was suffering for my sins and how he is still so unconditionally loving.
It is because of Him that I get to have my happily ever after with my Father in Heaven, my husband, my family and loved ones.
I'm grateful to Him and I admire Him for doing the same thing for every soul on this earth, even the ones He knows will never accept it in this life.. What an incredible amount of selflessness and charity and faith.
Being in the hospital on bed rest has been such a huge blessing in disguise.
It was very last minute, very unexpected, and above all very unnerving and scary for Mike and I.
I tried so hard to not overwork myself during my pregnancy or lift anything too heavy and it was so hard because at first I was mad at myself, assuming this was my fault and now I have to deal with this punishment.
The thought of my little precious son being so early and so fragile and not ready for the world yet, and all of that being my fault, made me fall apart at the seams..
I was shaken and felt so alone and hopeless.
But all I had to do was open my eyes and look around and I saw the pouring out of love and support from so many more people we ever could hope for!
I was so overwhelmed by how many people went out of their way to come to the hospital to visit, call us at the hospital, put our names into 3 different temples, pray in our behalf, bring us beautiful flowers, bring us gifts for Milo and also for our entertainment, and give us words of love and support on facebook.
One night after having visitors all day long, Mike and I were alone and we decided to read this 21 days closer to Christ book together.
As we were reading, we were both completely overwhelmed with a tangible feeling of love and comfort.
It felt like the Savior had wrapped His loving arms around both of us, planting hope, comfort and happiness in our hearts.
We couldn't even finish reading we were both so emotional.
We knew this was happening for a reason and that Milo was in good hands, the Lord's hands.
Sometimes we make plans for things to go our specific way, but even if we have righteous intentions, sometimes our plans aren't the same as the Lord's plan for us.
He has a plan for Milo, and He has a plan for Mike and for me. Obviously we needed a refresher as to what that was.
It was then that I knew that I needed to dedicate this time I have to the Lord and His gospel, for my own sake but also for the sake of my husband and my little one so he can have a spiritually sound mother to teach him right from wrong.
My relationship with the Savior is very personal and close to my heart. I hope everyone will have the extraordinary blessing of gaining closeness with the Savior. He is my Savior, but He is yours too. And He's the truest friend you'll ever have. It's worth humbling yourself enough to let Him into your life.
I say these things in my Savior's name. Amen.

Spiritual Rehab

Days like yesterday make it feel like a lockdown in here..

BUT something I've decided is everything happens for a reason.. Brand new concept right?

I'm totally twisting the way I feel about being here and I'm gonna love it every day for the rest of my days here.

I have just checked myself into rehab.

Spiritual rehab that is.. :)

I think that I put off the important things when I had my "freedom" and this is one of the many mysterious works of my Heavenly Father. I'll show YOU too busy.. HA take 4+ weeks of bed rest! That should give you some time.. :)

What's on your list of things you SHOULD do every day but you don't think you have time for?

Read your scriptures? 

Read a book?

Write in your journal?

Well in spiritual rehab, you have all the time in the world to do all of those things every day!

So this is a list of things I am going to do every day:

1. Read my scriptures. Specifically, the Book of Mormon.

My goal is to read the entire BOM before Mike and I get sealed.

If I can do it before the baby comes, even better!!

2. Read "The Holy Temple" by: Boyd K. Packer.

My goal is to have this read before Mike and I go through the temple for the first time.

The sooner the better obviously!

3. Read "21 Days Closer to Christ" by: Emily Freeman.

Every day there's a section to read with a challenge! Perfect!

4. Write in my journal (or blog) about all of the things I read, learn and love about all of these awesome books! Blogging is really like modern day journal writing, only a journal that you don't mind others seeing.. :) I love blogging!

Its not easy being here in rehab.. first you gotta admit you have a problem!
Hello my name is Alecia and I'm a make-an-excuse-for-everything-aholic.
Anyone else care to check themselves in?
Remember! The only way to succeed in this program is to make every minute of the day count and I promise the reward will be worth it. 
But I'm not an expert I'm just a patient! I'll get back to you when I've graduated.. :)

Alecia's Bed Rest Diaries

Soooo I'm still here.. 
8 days later..
It is such a drag staring at the exact same scenery 24 hours a day. 
BUT here are 25 things I've learned here so far:

1: There is a weird yellow triangle looking pillow that scares me.. I don't want to know what its used for..
2) There is a newborn channel that shows cute babies 24/7!! Love it :)
3. If you pull the remote thingy out of the wall, alarms go off..
4; The floor is SUPER slippery when I have socks on! Yes I almost biffed it.
5] The shower is never the same temperature, it goes from cold to hot over and over again.. thanks a lot.
6.. There is a cool removable shower head and a jetted tub, even if I can't use it :(
7- There are two alien looking lights above my bed that look strangely like cameras.. but I found the switch and they're not, they are just intense lights for delivery... Yay..
8: The cafeteria food downstairs is BOMB! Soooo yummy :)
9) I want to poke a hole in the stupid leg warmer/shin guards I have to wear.
10. My butt falls asleep and stays asleep ALL day long
11; There are some nurses that I am SO adding on facebook because they rule :]
12] The hospital's internet is soooooo slooooowwww :P
13.. I am the only mommy here that wears basketball shorts and hubby shirts!
14- There's a mysterious corner of my room that has creepy surgical stuff and I try not to look over there.. (as I'm staring at it.. Creepy!)
15: The call nurse button on the side railings of my bed does NOT work.. I tried 6 times trust me.
16) The goopy ultrasound gel is not warmed like every other place.. rude.
17. There are TINY diapers in the cute baby corner and they're not even preemie!
18; The NICU is a very depressing place to be.. no matter how your baby is doing.. :(
19] Avagard is the awesome sanitizer lotion stuff all around the hospital and I LOVE the smell! Mmmmmm :)
20.. Some wheelchairs launch me forward when you let go of the handles.. haha my mom and I figured that one out! Sure hope that didn't throw me into labor!
21- I can have as much chocolate milk as I want.. badass! haha
22: Milo gets really hyper whenever we put monitors on my tummy :)
23) Sundays are awesome because there's movies on TV all day AND there's a sweet old couple that brings the sacrament around to those of us who can't go to church. :) Very Cool!
24. Mike and I have been making nightly wheelchair rides downstairs and its like our little date night.. :)
25; The little toys that Mike got from my aunt and cousins! He plays with his little lego trucks and cars all the time and it cracks me up!! He's excited to play with Milo ;)

I really am enjoying the time I have to read, ponder and get ready to go through the temple soon! When you sit on your butt all day, there's only so many excuses you can come up with to not read your scriptures every day.. ;)
I am trying to make the most of my situation and I have been SO blessed with amazing people that are making this so much easier for both me and Mike! 
I think this is probably harder for him than it is for me! Poor guy has to drive all over the state every day and sleep in a hospital every night.. 
I sure am one lucky woman for having the most amazing man to take care of me!!

I love you sweetheart <3

And I love all of you that have 
come to see me 
sent me little notes of encouragement on facebook
called me
passed along good wishes
and prayed for us!!
We definitely feel the overwhelming love and prayers. :]

Everything is in the Lord's Hands...

Oh how much easier that phrase is to type than to really believe all the time...
I think its pretty normal for us all to get a little overwhelmed, especially if pregnancy hormones love making you cry over something ridiculous.. like stubbing your toe. Yeah that happened.
Well my trial right now is a physical one. Little Milo is going to be premature.
There's nothing we can do to make him be our little Halloween baby.
He's coming anytime between now and 4 weeks from now.
My water apparently broke last week and has been gradually leaking ever since. When I figured it out, I called my doctor and he told me to go to the hospital to get checked out. I was thinking this would be some tests and maybe bed rest AT HOME.
Surprise!
Mike and I have officially moved in to the labor and delivery room at the Provo Hospital.
The amniotic fluid surrounding Milo is very low, which is really scary to me.. To avoid losing more amniotic fluid I have to be on bed rest and because there's a rupture in the amniotic sac, I have to be on bed rest here at the hospital so I don't get an infection.
So there are two options:
1. I get an infection and they will be forced to induce me, which could happen any time of the day.
2. If the antibiotics work and bounce the infection, I will stay here and let the baby cook until I'm 34 weeks, which is in 3 1/2 weeks. Because my water is already broken, they won't let me go beyond 34 weeks.
I'm reallty bummed out that I'm gonna miss both of my baby showers and my friend's baby shower and Mike's Ordination for the Melchezidek Priesthood.. :(
Its been a rough day.
Bless my sweet husband he's passed out on the couch while I'm up blogging and playing around on facebook.
On a brighter note, Milo will be here when we are all sealed as a family in the temple.. :]

Our Countdown!!

63 Days Until My Sweetheart & I are Sealed..

..For Time and All Eternity

In the Manti Temple <3

Also!

Mike gets his Melchizedek Priesthood in 5 DAYS!

He's a rockstar... I am so proud of him!

:]  :]  :]

One AMAZING thing after another!

So right now is the BEST time in our life together because...

1. We are now temple worthy! We got our recommend to go do baptisms!! :]

Neither one of us have been able to go to the temple since sophomore year in high school! Yay yay yay!

2. Mike gets his Melchizedek Priesthood in 11 DAYS!! 

Obviously this is a huge deal because it means that he can now baptize me in the temple, bless our baby boy, give me and anyone else blessings and stand in Priesthood circles!! I'm so proud of him!

3. We are going to be getting our endowments in about a month!!

We are currently going to a temple prep class and our teacher wants to meet with us privately to have a discussion about the temple and then the bishop will give us our recommend to get our endowments! :) I can't wait to go!

4. Our OFFICIAL Sealing date is October 19th, 2010! About 11 days before Milo's due date! :]

Let's hope he's not early! ;)

There is just so much happening in our life right now that is going the right direction. I have one thing right after another to look forward to! LOVE IT!

Its a...

Its a Boy!!!
We've decided his name to be..
Milo Morgan Sage <3
Ultrasound pictures coming soon!

What wonderful sunshine! :]

So lots has happened recently that has changed my life significantly..
First, a few weeks ago (I think.. I have a horrible memory & sense of time), we were tested to our very limits. Only the strong survived! My cousin's mother-in-law was moving to Missouri to live with them, but we weren't expecting to help. Not only were we not expecting to help but we had no idea how MUCH help was needed! So my mom, Jon, and I all loaded up and head over on Saturday to help where we could.
We walk in to the house and not a single thing was packed and ready to move.. They were supposed to be leaving that night with a huge moving van full of stuff.. It was such an overwhelming feeling I can't even explain. BUT there was definitely a higher power going on because nobody's hearts were even permitted to feel emotionally overwhelmed the entire time! Ok except mine.. but I'm pregnant and there's only so much I can control!
After working myself way too hard and lifting way too much.. Saturday was over. Unfortunately though, we were barely half way through PACKING the house.. not moving it. So the next day is Sunday, Mike's only day off for the last 2 weeks.. Guess what he does? He sacrificed his entire day to lifting and straining his bad knee and back and rolling his ankle.. I have THE most amazing husband ever..
I personally was so bitter at first and didn't want to help at all but once I got over myself.. it ended up being a very nice experience that was very rewarding for both Mike and I.
Second, through all the craziness of the moving weekend, my Mom, Jon, Mike and I all made time to go to the last night of the Manti Pageant. This was especially special for Mike and I because last year Mike and I were dating when we went and that is where he prayed about whether I was the girl he should marry and he was immediately overcome by overwhelming positive feelings and he knew I was the one.. He looked at me with tears in his eyes and I knew.. because he was the one and I felt the same way. :) Cute little moments!
Third, of course the 4th of July weekend just passed! That was an adventure in and of itself! On Saturday the 3rd, Mike got off work at NOON which was so amazing! He hadn't taken a day off since before the moving weekend, so he seriously needed it! We both got all dressed up and were going to see Toy Story 3. We get to the theater and we have to buy tickets to a show that started 2 hours later because it was all sold out.
So, being the young immature couple that we are, we goofed around all day together. It was so.. perfect. It felt like I was seeing him for the first time and I was so in love all over again! We needed a really cute day like that. :) We went to Nordstrom Cafe and got Pomegranate Sparkling Lemonade and went to Best Buy and found a parking spot for PREGNANT WOMEN! Yeah I'm not lying! Here's proof!

We went to Toy Story 3 finally and sat by a super nice lady that had an ADORABLE little baby girl on her lap. She started making conversation and when I implied that I was expecting (of course nobody would ever say anything about someone being prego without knowing first..) she was so excited and was telling us how much fun it is to be parents and to enjoy quiet movies now while we still can.. :) And we definitely did!
After the movie, we went to see the PG fireworks for the 4th of July. We went to the Jr High, where they were launching from, so we could get underneath them and lay down and look straight up at them! It was really romantic snuggling up to my honey after such an AMAZING date earlier that day UNTIL a firework platform tipped over and things started getting scary..
At first, the fireworks were launching straight to the side, which wasn't harming anyone, it was just facing the other fireworks. Well, apparently that was worse because it knocked a lot of firework platforms in multiple directions. Then all of a sudden 3 or 4 fireworks, one right after another, started spraying across the audience that was close to where we were. Mike tackled me with the stadium blanket over me telling me to stay down. My mom and Jon were frantically getting people to lay down so nobody would get hurt.
Then, the biggest firework, you know the ones that explode in the air and don't sparkle on the way there, it launched right at some girls to our left, maybe 50 feet away. It scared us so bad and we thought they were going to keep shooting bigger, more dangerous fireworks into the crowd, that we RAN out of there!
Come to find out, the two girls are okay, one had a huge bruise from where the firework actually hit her leg. And the other girl was having a hard time hearing from it exploding inches from her face. SCARY! I know right.. I'm a little sensitive about fireworks now.. :S
Anyhoo!  
Fourth, Sunday was actually the 4th and instead of being good and going to church, Mike and I were so exhausted that we had our own little ritual. We got the blankets and pillows, went to Battlecreek Park down the road from us, and laid under the cloudy sky and took a nap, talked and smooched. :] Best Sunday School Lesson ever if you ask me! ;)
Sunday evening, we went up to Jon's parents for a 4th of July BBQ where I had the best hamburger I've ever had in my life.. Holy Cow! It was a blast, as usual. When Mike and I got home, everyone else had gone to bed and we started watching True Blood Season 2.. yeah we're junkies. We were only gonna watch maybe 1 or 2 episodes and then go to bed but no.. we watched the entire season.. :] We stayed up until 4 in the morning.. The. Best. Night. Of. My. Life... Ok one of them :]
Mike and I have been on this romantic high this weekend.. If you're married and reading this, you understand that its normal to not have this happen a lot and when it does happen, it really is a romantic high! We would sit and look into each others eyes and not help but kiss and kiss and kiss just like we were discovering our feelings for each other for the first time! It was so perfect.
Fifth, Monday comes around. Mike doesn't work YAY!! We spend most of the day recovering from our lack of sleep hangover and relaxing. Monday night my mom makes dutch oven dinner, Barbeque Chicken & Rice. YUMMM!! Dutch oven rules. We had Ann's family over too and it was just awesome :) I love girl chit chat with my mom and aunt. Its like I have two amazing moms! :)
Sixth, Well now its today and some exciting things that are going on is we are getting all ready to go on VACATION!!! We are borrowing Jon's parents RV and going camping up Granite Flats tomorrow through Saturday! I am so beyond excited to get away and relax and continue this romantic high with Mike. ALSO, tomorrow we are finding out the gender of our little sweet pea! :]

VERY exciting time in our life right now :) I am loving every moment.

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